Caseworker Alice Pitney

This is the home of Caseworker Alice Pitney, the driving force behind revolutionary self-improvement programs spreading across the state. Remember, "Not wanting help is the clearest possible indication that in fact you need it."

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Kudos to Nicholas Kristof

I love Nicholas D. Kristof. America needs more men like him. In his latest column, he supports what he calls the "Miracle Tax Diet." Kudos to Governor Paterson of New York for proposing it. Making soda more expensive will help some people to wean themselves from that dangerous drug. But, unfortunately, and as Kristof seems to know, many people will continue to drink soda despite this tax. And they will continue to eat other unhealthy foods. Kristof, like me, is in favor of a Twinkie Tax as well. But the problem is that some people will continue to eat these terroristic foods even with such a tax.

And beyond just food, many people will continue to fail to exercise or improve themselves socially and in many other ways unless we tax their failure to do so. And even once we tax their failure to do so, those who can afford to pay the tax will continue to fail to do so. We owe it to them and to our great nation to go beyond this small idea of taxing unhealthy choices. Only outlawing these dangerous behaviors and, after that is accomplished, re-educating the people who would seek them out illegally -- only that will turn the tide and help people make the most of their potentials.

Because taxing and outlawing unhealthy behavior, while necessary and entirely justified, are not long-term solutions. Tax them, yes. Outlaw them, yes. We must do both. But we also have to teach people to want to do the right thing, the moral thing. And if they don't want to do the right thing, we have to teach them a little more until they do. We owe it to them to do whatever it takes to change their minds and, yes, their souls.

Say it with me: Keep Improving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

New obesity study misses point

This CNN report on a new study, which claims that many obese people are in fact healthy, misses the point entirely. It says:

In the study, about 51 percent of overweight adults, or roughly 36 million people nationwide, had mostly normal levels of blood pressure, cholesterol, blood fats called triglycerides and blood sugar.

Almost one-third of obese adults, or nearly 20 million people, also were in this healthy range, meaning that none or only one of those measures was abnormal.

It doesn't matter how healthy -- allegedly -- some obese people are. Eating well and not taking unnecessary pleasure in food is its own reward, and unhealthy habits should be de-habited for that reason alone. Self-improvement isn't just about physical health, after all.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

I endorse a candidate

As you all know, I am campaigning for our dear governor for president. However, I am often asked, if our governor weren't running for president, is there another candidate I would consider endorsing? I was thinking about that very question when I read this by Kerry Howley:

Pick an issue – any issue – being debated in the United States of America as we approach the 2008 elections, and Mike Huckabee can find a way to tell you that it won’t matter until we collectively slim down. Education? “Kids can’t learn,” he told Charlie Rose in November, “because they’re sick.”The economy? Obesity “will bankrupt this country,” he said in the same interview. The War on Terror? “National security,” he told me in November, “isn’t going to mean much if we have a generation of kids so physically incapacitated they can’t go to war.”

As campaign strategy, weight maintenance talking points are weirdly effective. Issues like global terrorism, failing public schools and the fragile economy are diffuse, impersonal, seemingly uncontrollable. In an election cycle where all of these issues figure prominently among Republican primary voters, Huckabee intimates that Americans can help allay their greatest anxieties by choosing salad over bacon. In the able hands of a former pastor, a story about overcoming obesity becomes one of shame, sacrifice and redemption


There’s a reason Mike Huckabee is the only candidate with a book in the self-help section. Throughout his life, conservatives have deemed him too liberal and liberals have deemed him too conservative, but Huckabee hews to no political philosophy so closely as he hews to the redemptive, empowering philosophies of Tony Robbins, Oprah Winfrey and any particular edition of “Chicken Soup for the Soul.”

That's impressive. My faithful readers, I am pleased to endorse Mike Huckabee for president. He is a far better choice than this man.

(Thank you to Dave Lull for the tip.)

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Heroic Venezuela

We can learn a lot from our friends in Venezuela:

The Venezuelan government is placing a higher tax on alcohol and cigarettes in an effort to cut consumption and prevent what it views as the social, economic and moral consequences of drinking and smoking, said Jose Vielma Mora, superintendent of Seniat, the government body that oversees the collection of taxes.

I'd add a few things to that list, but at least it's a start. It's true, of course, as they say, that "[alcohol] causes much harm, not only to individuals, but to the collective health of the nation." The same could be said of hamburgers, salami, loud music, and skateboarding. When Venezuela has the courage to admit this, and acts accordingly by saving people from their worst impulses with a complete ban on unhealthy behavior, it will truly be a great nation worthy of emulating. I only wish Americans had that kind of courage. I am doing my best to give it to them! It's only a matter of time.

Keep improving!!!!!!

Monday, October 15, 2007

The Breakfast Burrito Must Die!

Hardee's -- you've pushed it too far this time. 920 calories and 60 grams of fat for breakfast? I am in total agreement with Jayne Hurley, senior nutritionist at the Center for Science in the Public Interest. The Country Breakfast Burrito is indeed "another lousy invention by a fast-food company." Unlike CSPI, however, I have the power to keep this "food porn" out of the hands (and mouths and stomachs) of impressionable eaters. The Country Breakfast Burrito is a loaded gun pointed at the American people. I'm a bulletproof vest. Mark my words: Hardee's will be closed for business this time tomorrow!

Keep improving!!!!

Help Us Find Mean Martin Manning

Mean Martin Manning continues to elude authorities and target the very people who are only trying to help others to reach their potential. We need your help. Look out for Mean Martin Manning and immediately tell us where you saw him and what he was doing. With the eyes and ears of an entire caring society, we'll catch him in no time!

Keep improving!!!

Monday, October 01, 2007

Reason not reasonable!

It was quite a busy summer for me, touring this great nation with the governor and meeting all of the ordinary folks who were so grateful for the help we're going to give them.

So you can imagine my shock and dismay when I returned to find that a magazine called Reason is telling its readers that Mean Martin Manning just wants to be left alone (in the November issue).

Tell that to his victims! For a magazine called Reason, it isn't very reasonable! When we win this election, we'll have to look into protecting Americans from this negligent non-journalism. Surely such dangerous slander is not the sort of speech the First Amendment was talking about.

Friday, June 29, 2007

I've been away

I have been away for nearly two months, campaigning hard across the country to help make the governor the next president of the United States. Everywhere I go, people thank me for making a difference in their lives. When we win this election, I will be able to do even more to help people improve and make the most of their potential. No matter how much attention Mean Martin Manning tries to attract with his anti-social lawlessness, the caring society we're building is the future. We'll stop him and make the world a better place at the same time.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Schools send wrong message

I can't say that I approve of this. Schools are loading junk food with vitamins and making lowfat versions of pizza in order to improve the health of our children.
The faux-junk food push is the nutritional equivalent of making airplane noises while zooming a spoonful of food into a child's mouth: a dressy distraction intended to get children to clean their plates.

I have to agree with Ann Cooper's assessment:

Ann Cooper, director of nutrition services at Berkeley Unified School District in California, said she is appalled that a meal of chicken nuggets, tater tots, chocolate milk and fruit cocktail with high fructose corn syrup meets the nutritional requirements under the national school lunch program.

Even if science could somehow make these foods truly healthy, the problem is that distracting children in order to get them to clear their plates doesn't teach them that being healthy is their first and most important obligation as citizens, that taste is irrelevant, and that they should resist trying to satisfy their own desires for pleasure. By associating eating with pleasure, the school is not only setting up these children for a lifetime of unhealth, but it is also encouraging the kind of selfishness our society could do without.

The real goal should be to train these children to want to eat kale. It should be one of the top priorities of education in this country. My proposal will be on the governor's desk in the morning.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Lunch with Judge Sarnauer

I have been away on the campaign trail with the Governor for weeks, but managed to get back to town to have a lovely lunch yesterday with Judge Sarnauer. I had the raw cauliflower platter. It was full of nutrition!!

Judge Sarnauer and I discussed many pressing public concerns. He is ready to assist as we help the people make the most of their potentials. On the agenda:

  • restrict Chinese food intake to once per week -- this is a simple matter of public safety and, with precedent already established, Judge Sarnauer assures me that there are no legal hurdles. An outright ban will have to wait, unfortunately.

  • mandate a serving of vegetables with every meal served in restaurants -- just common sense, really. Much of the work in this area has already been acheived through class-action lawsuits. There won't be much resistance from Big Restaurants and Big Food, as most are already complying. Judge Sarnauer says he will look into our legal options about the more relevant concern -- how do we make sure customers at the restaurants actually eat the vegetables? Our friends in Britain are using cameras for this purpose. Judge Sarnauer believes that because protecting the public's health is a valid government objective, cameras could be used in America as well. This is very good news.

  • remove insensitive talk show hosts from the airwaves -- again, just common sense. There is no room for incivility in public discourse. Judge Sarnauer agrees that the First Amendment does not protect one's right to upset others. He also agrees that the First Amendment was surely never intended to protect the extremism of Mean Martin Manning for President; it isn't political speech to support an enemy of the people.

During my appearance on It's Dr. Karen later in the week (Thursday), I'll discuss these initiatives in greater detail. Keep improving!!!!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Eat right or die!!!

CNN is reporting that nutritional supplements are no substitute for a healthy diet, and that they might even kill you!! This is just what I was concerned about when I encouraged Mean Martin Manning to eat right and when, at his trial, I pointed out that he uses unapproved medications and vitamins. Unfortunately, despite all of the warnings and evidence, Mr. Manning insists on eating this. I thrust that it's obvious that he must be found and helped. If you've seen Mean Martin Manning, tell Dr. Karen about it. It's for his own good.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Philadelphia Inquirer needs my intervention

Katie Haegele at the Philadelphia Inquirer says I'm "uptight." The press seems to be giving in to Mean Martin Manning every which way. First the Philadelphia City Paper and now this. I'm having lunch with Judge Sarnauer on Tuesday, and I intend to see what can be done to curtail this unhealthy and unhelpful attitude on the part of the Philadelphia Inquirer. Maybe someone needs to remind these papers that they are here to serve the public. And if they are not serving the public, which clearly they are not when they encourage Mean Martin Manning's sick supporters, then something needs to be done to correct their behavior. For their own good and the good of society.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Professor Wisotsky's New Book!!!

Professor Wisotsky's new book is now out in paperback. Ask for your copy of What You Want and What You Need at your local bookstore today. And be sure to watch It's Dr. Karen on Wednesday. Professor Wisotsky will be discussing how his book can help us eat right. Click here to read what critics are saying about What You Want and What You Need.

Keep improving!!!!

Thursday, March 29, 2007

City Paper Deplorable!!!!

The Philadelphia City Paper is simply appalling, and their writer Edward Pettit -- if that's his real name -- might need some of my help making the most of his potential. He glorifies Mean Martin Manning and praises unspeakable vices (dare I say it? -- tobacco!) as pleasurable. If other members of the press are going to have this attitude about Mean Martin Manning ... it's too horrible to contemplate. We'll see what Judge Sarnauer has to say about the limits of freedom of the press when civilization is at stake.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

My work is never done...

Thanks to this report, I now have the evidence I need to help people make the most of their potentials and lead healthier lives -- it's long past time we put an end to this menace to public safety. I will be seeing Judge Sarnauer in the morning to see what legal remedies are at our disposal.