Caseworker Alice Pitney

This is the home of Caseworker Alice Pitney, the driving force behind revolutionary self-improvement programs spreading across the state. Remember, "Not wanting help is the clearest possible indication that in fact you need it."

Sunday, January 06, 2008

I endorse a candidate

As you all know, I am campaigning for our dear governor for president. However, I am often asked, if our governor weren't running for president, is there another candidate I would consider endorsing? I was thinking about that very question when I read this by Kerry Howley:

Pick an issue – any issue – being debated in the United States of America as we approach the 2008 elections, and Mike Huckabee can find a way to tell you that it won’t matter until we collectively slim down. Education? “Kids can’t learn,” he told Charlie Rose in November, “because they’re sick.”The economy? Obesity “will bankrupt this country,” he said in the same interview. The War on Terror? “National security,” he told me in November, “isn’t going to mean much if we have a generation of kids so physically incapacitated they can’t go to war.”

As campaign strategy, weight maintenance talking points are weirdly effective. Issues like global terrorism, failing public schools and the fragile economy are diffuse, impersonal, seemingly uncontrollable. In an election cycle where all of these issues figure prominently among Republican primary voters, Huckabee intimates that Americans can help allay their greatest anxieties by choosing salad over bacon. In the able hands of a former pastor, a story about overcoming obesity becomes one of shame, sacrifice and redemption


There’s a reason Mike Huckabee is the only candidate with a book in the self-help section. Throughout his life, conservatives have deemed him too liberal and liberals have deemed him too conservative, but Huckabee hews to no political philosophy so closely as he hews to the redemptive, empowering philosophies of Tony Robbins, Oprah Winfrey and any particular edition of “Chicken Soup for the Soul.”

That's impressive. My faithful readers, I am pleased to endorse Mike Huckabee for president. He is a far better choice than this man.

(Thank you to Dave Lull for the tip.)


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